Because faith doesn’t cancel chaos
As 2025 limps toward the finish line — tired, emotionally unavailable, and clutching a half-finished to-do list — I find myself standing on the edge of 2026 as an engaged woman. Yes. Engaged. With a ring, a fiance, and a Pinterest board that tells lies about how calm and organized I am.
Soon, I’ll be entering a new phase of life: wife.
Capital W. Big responsibility. Same woman.
And as I look back on the last 38 years of my life, one truth rises above the noise, the chaos, and the 3am overthinking sessions:
👉 You only get one shot at this, hunny.
One life.
One nervous system.
One body that absolutely does not bounce back the way Instagram promised.
Right now, life isn’t waiting politely for me to “get it together.”
Life is happening — loudly, relentlessly, and mostly before I’ve had coffee.
Each day feels like a spiritual exercise in staying present.
Not fixing.
Not panicking.
Not planning 12 years ahead.
Just… being here. Breathing. Trying not to lose my faith or my mind before lunchtime.
The Myth of “That Woman”
You know that woman.
The one who:
- Looks calm
- Has matching containers in her pantry
- Speaks softly but firmly
- Seems spiritually grounded, emotionally regulated, and inexplicably moisturized
Let me ruin this for you with love:
She does not have it all together.
She is not floating through life on a cloud of divine peace and eucalyptus oil.
She is just like the rest of us — managing chaos with better lighting.
Behind the scenes:
- Her prayers sometimes sound like complaints
- Her faith wobbles
- Her life is held together with grace, grit, and a deeply unserious sense of humor
✨ Faith doesn’t eliminate mess — it teaches you how to live inside it.
Because here’s the truth no one tells you in women’s Bible study:
Hallelujah and Hot Mess
This blog exists in the tension.
Between:
- Believing in God ✝️
- And losing your car keys while asking Him for patience
Between:
- Gratitude
- And the desire to scream into the void because your inbox won’t stop multiplying
Between:
- Becoming a wife
- And still being a woman who sometimes eats toast for dinner and calls it “balance”
I believe in God deeply.
I also believe He has a sense of humor — because He gave adult women:
- Hormones
- Responsibilities
- Expectations
- And only 24 hours a day
Cruel. But funny.
If You’re Reading This…
If you’re tired.
If you’re faithful but frazzled.
If you love God but occasionally side-eye Him like, “Sir… explain.”
Welcome.
You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are not the only one quietly winging it.
You are living — imperfectly, honestly, and bravely — in a world that demands perfection but offers none.
So here’s to entering 2026:
- Still believing
- Still laughing
- Still figuring it out
- Still a hot mess… but a redeemed one
Hallelujah for the grace.
And grace for the mess.
— Hallelujah & Hot Mess
Incandescent Candy 